Meet The Gang
She even liked my singing
I know! it’s hard to believe!
She wagged her tail, and smiled a lot
No matter what I did, she was pleased
Did I mention, she was totally deaf?
I did not really mean to deceive….
Were you paying attention in post number one?
How I don’t always stick to the facts?
I must confess, I sometimes drift off,
To the land of, err, make believe
I’m not being deliberately misleading….
I say it’s the nature of the creative act
I always blame the rhyming
And the need to keep it tight
It can sometimes produce a great line –
But I never guarantee,
That the facts will be right.
Kanga and I have a relationship
Which is sometimes not very smooth
She can be a total pain in the butt
But! I have to win, and she has to lose!
You could call it a battle of wills
And I refuse to be beaten by a cat!
Besides, I’m much bigger and smarter than her
And she has to get used to that
She’s obsessed with lying on my laptop
It’s so lovely and warm, you see
When I had to take it to the repair shop
The man claimed he’d been attacked by a flea!
Well! I told him, it was part of his job –
I don’t know why, he thought he could complain
I told him he was lucky, it wasn’t his machine…
And I wouldn’t be going there again!
Rory – little Rory!
He’s a cute little chap –
Causes mayhem and chaos
Then recovers, with a nap
He’s only a young’un
He’s now one and a half
He’s a bit like Jaffa –
Except, that he’s smart,
Poor Jaffa, to be honest,
Was totally daft.
Like Jaffa, he’s obsessed
With food, of any sort –
And that’s good for teaching tricks
But he often, turns up ‘On report’
For stealing, whatever he can nick
So far, he’s already, stolen
A whole week’s nice, fresh ham
Half a block of Cheddar
(In spite of his kitchen ban)
When we’re out, he goes off climbing
Onto washing machine, up, & then on,
Across the laundry bench top
To the prize he has frequently won
He scoffs the cat food, out from her bowl
Otherwise, he’s very obedient…..
Deep down, he’s a ‘wanna-please’ soul
So his sins, we regard, as expedient
Molly is also getting on a bit
She’ll be nine, later on, this year
We know, she can look a bit scary
But there’s never any reason for fear
Because really, she’d never hurt anything
But she’s good, as a burglar alarm –
Burglars only have to hear her –
Just her bark, protects us from harm
She’s always been, very gentle
She is elegant, dainty and calm
As an aristocrat, she’s all class
She’s always had, oodles of charm
Which doesn’t mean, that she’s snooty
She plays like a pup in the park
With her group of puppy playmates –
She hasn’t lost her youthful spark
She loves to chase fish in the canal
But, doesn’t really like to get wet
So she never goes deeper than knee height
She’s never, ever, caught a fish, yet.